I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my shit smells like andre
she peed on how many people?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
