just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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