He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
