I got chris browned last night
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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