ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
