We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
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