I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
