I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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