is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
