actually, I'm a sock model
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
barbara walters just said penis...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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