my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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