I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
