ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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