you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
