I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
