We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
