So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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