Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
