thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
