I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
