ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
