I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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