honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize