i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
