Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
