Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
