even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
