hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
