I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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