so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize