oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
