I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
