TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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