Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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