Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
