She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
