Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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