Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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