I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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