I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
