garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
