I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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