are you still at the devil's house?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i've created a new STD.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
