Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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