no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
