so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
We smell like vodka and hangover
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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