bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
