I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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