Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
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she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
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That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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