should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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