cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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