If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
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