What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
