I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
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Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
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You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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