some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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