I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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