No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
