Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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