i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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