Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Do you still have your period?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
