Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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