Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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